[ good? ]

   the goodness of God?

   whatever that means.

   that phrase meant very little to me for the longest time. i mean, why on earth is God good?

   don't get me wrong - i didn't think God was bad or anything. it was more this deeper, underlying sense of legitimately questioning His motives for my life. what were the reasons for having me go through incredibly tough seasons, why did i feel so alone at times, why was it that in the hardest seasons He always seemed to be the furthest away... on and on. thoughts like these plagued my logic and tended to put a rift between the two of us, causing the gap to become larger than it perhaps already was.

   i had little understanding of what it meant to have a God that was faithful. who was true. who was just.

[ hit in the heart ]

   heart pounding, i step onto the stage. papers in one hand, juggling a mic in the other.

   i hear my pastor saying things about me in the distance somewhere. my focus was on being calm. my thoughts were telling me "it's good. you were meant for this. you've got nothing to worry about. this is all stuff you know. you're gonna rock it. this is your family you're speaking to."

   it's sunday morning. i'm co-teaching with my pastor. 

   this is the second time he has proposed we do team-teaching together, and this time, i was feeling far more confident and secure. nervous, but knowing it was right nonetheless.

   as he leaves the stage to me, the attention switches to me completely. 

   "hi. i'm kayla."

   laughter from the congregation.

[ stepping up and stepping out ]

   it is that time again!

   .. that time where people are asking "sooooo what's next?"

   well i will tell you. in due time.

   first and foremost, i can tell you that i will no longer be a student here at the college in denmark.

[ to an incredible man ]

   within him, there is a world of potential that awaits. things that people ought to learn from him. things that should be passed on. a man worth a million words that others should have the time with. he's another person that everyone would benefit from being around.

   he's always been a solid structure.

   someone i knew i could always depend on. will always depend on.

   calm and confident.

   a quiet and peaceful demeanor. not overly talkative, not one who says much - but when he does, people listen. it's something worth hearing.

[ tribute to an amazing woman ]

   she's one of those people that i just love to brag about to my friends.

   you know what i mean?

   these people are just so cool that the whole world has to know about them. they've got the greatest qualities and the best presence about them that everyone should experience.

   she's got this laugh that will light up the room. it travels around spaces, bringing its warmth wherever it passes and leaves a presence behind. sometimes she starts giggling after having said something really silly or ridiculous, and it only takes a look from me to set her off laughing again. she gets this kind of crooked face that says "what?", smiling at the same time. it's like a fox who has just stolen your eggs but acts like he's done nothing wrong.

[ encounter ]

copyright miss kayla photography | 2013

encounter.

He longs to have encounters with us.

how can we encounter Him?

what happens when we do?

often we let things hold us back or distract us..

[ the rock ]

   "oof," i said as i sat down in the sand, the sun at my back, wind carelessly tossing my hair everywhere. 

   it felt good to relax after a run, the ocean licking at my feet occasionally, thoughts able to run where they like -- but at a more relaxed pace. life seems to travel at an increasingly slower rate when you're at the beach. it's no wonder i've always felt at peace whenever i'm at the beach. it's a place of solace.

   i turned my gaze towards the open ocean. a few boats off in the distance moved slowly across the horizon. the sound of the steady waves echoed a lullaby that soothed. people were scarce, so i had the sense of having the entire beach to myself.

   a rock lying in the sand caught my eye. i watched as a wave came and washed over it, taking it a few inches forward, but then getting dragged back when the wave washed back out. this repeated itself.

   in the back of my mind, i heard a voice saying "that's you."

   "oh no," i groaned out loud. i secretly checked to see if anyone was listening so i could freely speak aloud. this topic was hitting a deep point.

   i knew this was the moment when God was going to say something i didn't want to hear, but needed to.

[ a wordless connection ]

   on every outreach, you always expect to walk away from it with at least one transforming story, or some moment that touched your heart.

   this is mine.