[ community ]

   We parked our bikes across the street and turned around, ready to eat. Nico stepped from the doorway with his wrinkling ear-to-ear smile and greeted us with the welcoming hug and kiss. Stepping into the restaurant, I felt the usual rush of nostalgia. “Restaurant Da Nico” is a place I’ve been several times, most often in stories and imagination, but also in person. It’s the best pizza place on this planet, hands down. My mom worked with him at a different restaurant before he opened his own. She would tell me stories of how she started working there, and what an experience it was for her to be around such a different culture – especially when it came to conflict.

   Nico is a bona fide Italian, as are the other workers. I love hearing the romantic language [yes, Italian is truly a romantic language] being thrown around, mixed with the Danish and occasional German words in the air. I guess you could say he’s one of those that have a special place in my heart, someone I would call an uncle.

   The thing that I have always loved most about the place is the immediate feeling of a loving community when I step into the place. Sure, I have a bit of a bias because I know and love Nico and vice versa, but it goes beyond that. It’s incredible to me how mere atmosphere can make an individual automatically feel a part of something. A community.

   As we were driving down the road one day, I remarked to mom how black people understand the idea of community so well. And us white people don’t, really. Now before you bite my head off and get your knickers in a knot and call me racist, let me explain.

   I ride public transportation a lot, or have a lot in the past anyway. I can easily say that every time I’m on the bus, some random black individuals will meet each other and say “Sup brotha”, or greet one another with familiarity.

   Most often, the large picnics at the park by my house are hosted by black people.

   Do you begin to see my point?

   I feel jealous sometimes, to be honest. I love community. I love the sense of feeling a belonging to a group of people you love and care about. I love celebrating that. I would love to be able to have the sense of a “brotherhood”, to get on a bus and know several people right away.

   It’s safe to say I’m envious. Secretly, sometimes I wish I was born black. Or into some other culture I find colorful and fascinating.

   One of the speakers during my DTS talked about culture. About the “I” cultures and the “we” cultures. The “I” cultures are more focused on themselves, not the community, they prepare food for just themselves and those in the area at the time, sharing is limited. Very time-oriented, where you show up right on time, and have a task list. “We” cultures are community-oriented; food is prepared with the expectation of others perhaps showing up, what’s mine is yours, and they tend to be more relationship-oriented, focusing on people rather than time – you can count on them being late.

   After hearing all of this, I began to wonder what culture I lived in. Honestly, I think my answer was in the middle somewhere. I lean towards wanting to be community oriented. I love relationships. I am fascinated by them, and they mean so much more to me than being on time. However – at the time, I value respect, and I consider it respectful to be somewhere on time, so you’re not wasting someone else’s time. [Truthfully, I’d rather not care about being on time.]

   Someone else during DTS made the statement that Jesus wasn’t known for being spiritual. He was known for His fellowship, for dining with sinners.

   Profound.

   I think Jesus really valued community too. I think he would love Nico’s restaurant. I can picture them talking and laughing over pizza and a good beer [or perhaps wine]. May seem ridiculous to you, but it sounds genuine to me.

   My reasoning behind that is because it’s such a constant learning process. Being around people all the time, dealing with different personalities, various cultures, attitudes, habits, lifestyles, etc – you learn how to cope, and it changes you. I’m not saying being alone is wrong.

   Oh lordy. I’m an introvert myself, so I definitely need time alone to recharge and recover from life and people.

   My point is that when being in a community, it causes you to stop thinking about yourself. [If you let it.] This is something I experienced when being in DTS. I went from having an entire year where I spent a large majority of time with myself in my basement, to being in a room with 6 other girls. Talk about a huge change of perspective. Sure, it was only for three months – but during that time, I learned a lot about healthy conflict, how to handle different ideas of cleanliness, and other issues. My room was great, and I couldn’t have asked for better roommates, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t still plenty of learning opportunities.

   I’ve been reading this book called “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller lately. Well, I read it. So now I’m rereading it, highlighting and underlining things, making notes, the like. He’s great. But anyway, at one point in the book, he talks about his transformation from living completely alone for some time, then switching to sharing a place with five other guys. He begins by talking about how living alone will not help you grow, because there’s nothing to feed your soul, no conflict, nothing to cause change.

   It was crazy to hear how much of what he said lined up with what my life was like that entire year before and during DTS. 

   He talked about how God had brought him into that situation to rid him of self-addiction.

   “There is no addiction so powerful as self-addiction”, he writes.

   Agreed.

   I think by being in a community and learning about other people, we can therefore learn more about God. He put a little piece of Himself in each of us. By personalities and beliefs rubbing against each other, we grow. We can choose to put our self behind us and see what we can gain from someone else in a situation.

   That being said, I’m incredibly stoked for this next year being at school with a community built of various cultures from all over the world. My hope and desire is that we become a family, much like my DTS did. [Shout out to my ANAG family!]

   So we’ll see where it goes from Sunday, eh?